Throughout this pregnancy I feel like I’ve been in hiding. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I’m doing! I can’t figure out what it is. When I go out in public I always have my sweater on just in case I run into someone I know that doesn’t know that I’m a surrogate. I don’t know if it’s because I don’t want to stand there and explain every detail, or if I’m embarrassed, or if it’s because my religion views me in the same manner as a prostitute.
Every person I have told has offered nothing but wonderful comments and has been wonderfully supportive. It’s kind of crazy, but my parents and extended family are the only ones who have no idea I’m pregnant and I don’t want them to know. They have never been supportive of anything I’ve ever done unless it benefits them. That could be why I feel like I’m hiding.
I’m very involved with my church and love my religion, but it is one of the only religions that do not believe in surrogacy. To them I’m using my body for someone else’s gain, just as a prostitute would. It’s very strange to me, because I know that I’m doing the most Christian thing I can do for someone and giving the ultimate gift just as God had done with his own son. Surrogacy started as early as the first book of the Old Testament, in Genesis 16, where Sarah could not bear a child for Abraham. Abraham went and found a TS so that he and Sarah could have a child. A child was born from that TS.
Has anyone else felt like they were hiding or is my religion making a bigger impact on me?
4 comments:
Wow, do I know how you feel! Im the IM of twins and we almost didnt go through with having my best friend carry our babies because of what our religion teaches about surrogacy. In the end we decided to go with our hearts. God knows my heart and he knows it was in the right place. As Im certain he knows this about yours too! Be proud of that beautiful belly and the two wonderful gifts that are growning inside of it! surrogateformybestfriend.blogspot.com
Best wishes~ Denise
wow - i can't even imagine. However, my Grandma (who I think is the greatest thing on earth) is totally against me being a surrogate. When I told her she totally changed the subject and didn't want to talk about it which was fine. I'm Christian and I believe that God lets everything happen for a reason. However, I'm not involved in my church except for I attend there, so they probably think I got pregnant again, not married and just having babies, so I'm sure they look at me in a funny way anyways, which I'm fine with. However, with your parents not even knowing, I can't even imagine and I'm sorry they are not supportive. My parents are my biggest supporters. They had doubts of course but are now on track with me. I will pray for you and pray that you find peace in this.
I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way, Jennifer. I think all of those factors are contributing to why you are feeling this way and I hope you find peace with this soon. My best advise to you is: You can do one of two things with these feelings. 1) You can let all those factors and feelings bring you down and put a damper (so to speak) on your surrogacy journey. Or 2) Get over it and embrace the rest of your journey whole-heartedly (sorry to be so blunt). Surrogacy is such a beautiful thing. You are giving the ultimate gift to two hopeful and deserving IPs. Those two babies that you are carrying are something that you should be so proud of--not hide! Walk around with your head held high and be proud of what YOU have accomplished. Be proud that YOU are helping make a family. Be proud of being a surrogate! Be proud of that belly!! ;)
(i'm sorry if this has offended you in any way. That was not my intention. All i'm trying to say is keep your head up, enjoy the ride, and embrace it. Who cares what other people think or what they will or might say.) =)
Catholic surrogate here so I know how you feel. And I didn't tell anyone in my family until I was 32 weeks with my last surrogacy because I knew the reaction would not be positive and I was so over trying to explain my adult decisions to them. Hang in there.
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