Not what I wanted to hear

Up until today if you asked me if I would do another surrogacy journey the answer would have been a definite yes. I loved being a surrogate, having a beautiful pregnant belly, and giving a couple a family. I had the most amazing experience with no regrets.

 

Today I had another doctor appointment to check my incision and to see if the stitches have dissolved. As of today, the stitches are still there, so no running yet for me. I did get the go ahead to go swimming and that might help the stitches dissolve. I go back in 2 weeks to check them and if they are still there, my doctor is going to remove them. I’m a little scared about having them removed. The good news is that I’m down another 4 pounds!

 

After talking to my doctor today and telling him that I would love to do this again, he had a look of shock. He told me he would not let me do another vaginal delivery and that I would have to have a C-Section. The reason is because I bled and tore so much he was afraid next time I may not stop bleeding and would need a blood transfusion. He said that would only work if my body could handle it. He also told me today, and I had no idea, that I had over 40 stitches! The babies were just too big and put so much pressure on my lower body. My doctor told me that I’m his only patient that has had that many stitches and after 40 minutes of working on me after delivery he wasn’t sure he would ever get the bleeding to stop.

 

After this conclusion, I decided today that I won’t do this again. I don’t want the recovery, pain and risk involved with a C-Section. I also don’t want to possibly bleed to death if I was to try a vaginal birth. I’m very sad about not doing this again, but maybe God will give me a change of heart in the future about a C-Section. I’m so grateful that all my birth plans have always been what I had hoped for and that my family is complete! I have no regrets over this entire process.